Summer in NYC is full of energy, it can feel like non-stop rooftop parties, Fire Island weekends, and late-night gatherings. At many of these events, the drinks flow, substances are being used, and suddenly it’s hard to know if you’re making choices that feel good for you, or if just going along with the crowd.
This is where Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help. DBT helps us make mindful, values-driven choices that leave us feeling empowered instead of regretful.
1. Mindfulness: Notice What’s Really Happening
Before you reach for another drink or hit, pause. Ask yourself:
What emotion am I feeling right now?
Am I drinking to celebrate, or to avoid discomfort?
Will this choice help me feel better tomorrow?
This isn’t about shaming yourself. It’s about checking in. Mindfulness lets you notice the craving or urge without immediately acting on it.
2. Urge Surfing: Ride the Wave Instead of Fighting It
Cravings often feel like they’ll last forever, but in reality, they peak and pass, just like a wave. When an urge hits, imagine surfing it. Notice the rise, the peak, and the gradual fall.
Focus on your breath.
Tell yourself, “This urge will pass, I don’t have to act on it.”
Distract yourself for a few minutes: talk to a friend, grab water, step outside for air.
3. Pros and Cons: Play It Forward
One powerful DBT skill is writing out the pros and cons of giving into an urge versus riding it out. For example:
Pro: A drink might make me feel relaxed right now.
Con: I’ll feel anxious tomorrow, and it’ll derail my plans.
By pausing to weigh both sides, you take back control.
4. Wise Mind: Align With Your Values
DBT teaches us to find our Wise Mind, the balance between emotion and reason. Before you make a choice, ask yourself:
What decision feels right for me, not just for this moment, but for my bigger life goals?
Sometimes Wise Mind says “go ahead and have a drink.” Other times, it says “call it a night.” Listening to it takes practice, but it’s empowering.
Final Thought
NYC’s summer events can be amazing, and DBT gives you tools to enjoy them without losing yourself. Mindfulness, urge surfing, and Wise Mind aren’t about being “perfect.” They’re about making choices that feel good during the party and the morning after.