It’s one thing to feel down. It’s another to feel like everything lost its color, energy, or meaning. If you’ve found yourself thinking, “What’s the point?” or feeling like no amount of effort will help change anything, you’re not alone. These are symptoms of depression and have names: anhedonia (a loss of pleasure), amotivation (a lack of drive), and hopelessness (the belief that things won’t improve). At their most persistent, they can even lead to a sense of learned helplessness, the belief that nothing you do matters because nothing changes.
When we’re in this state, advice like “just look on the bright side” or “go for a walk” can feel invalidating. Real healing takes more than clichés or pep-talks. It takes practical, evidence-based tools that meet us where we are, not where we wish we were.
Here are three therapeutic approaches drawn from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that can help gently shift the weight.
1. Cognitive Restructuring: Challenging Hopeless Thoughts
Hopelessness often sounds like:
“This will never get better.” “I don’t have it in me to try.” “Nothing I do matters.”
These thoughts feel true in the moment, but it's important to recognize that they are just thoughts, not facts. Cognitive restructuring helps us examine the facts rather than accept these thoughts as facts.
Try this:
Write down the thought.
Ask yourself: Is this 100% true? What’s the evidence for and against it? Make sure that your assessment of the evidence isn't being biased by your mood.
Create a more balanced alternative. “I’ve felt this before and it eventually shifted.” “Right now is hard, but that doesn’t mean things can’t improve in the future.”
This isn’t about being blindly optimistic or substituting "negative thoughts" for "positive thoughts." It’s about recognizing that your hopeless thoughts are not facts in a way that leaves room for change.
2. Behavioral Activation + Opposite Action: Don't Wait Until You're "In The Mood" To Take Action
Depression tells us to wait until we feel like doing something. But the truth is, action often precedes motivation, not the other way around.
Behavioral activation invites us to schedule and do small, manageable activities, even if the joy isn’t there yet. Opposite action from DBT takes it a step further: when you feel the urge to isolate, stay still, or withdraw, take one small action in the opposite direction.
Try this:
Choose one task that’s not overwhelming (make the bed, step outside, text a friend).
Set a timer for 5–10 minutes when starting a task to make it feel more manageable.
Do the action regardless of how you feel, and then check in with yourself afterward.
These small efforts build momentum. You’re not trying to “fix” your mood, you’re gently disrupting the freeze that depression creates.
3. Values-Based Goals + Building Mastery: Reconnecting with What Matters
When motivation disappears, it helps to ask:
“What still matters to me, even if I'm not feeling super connected to it right now?”
Values-based goal setting means aligning actions with what you care about; connection, creativity, stability, kindness, rather than doing what "feels good" in the moment. When paired with building mastery (doing something that gives you a sense of competence), it becomes a powerful way to create momentum and purpose.
Try this:
Name one value that matters to you (e.g., growth, humor, honesty).
Choose one small, related action (e.g., journaling, reaching out to a friend, reading something meaningful).
Notice how it feels. Not whether it “worked,” but whether it reflects the kind of life you want to build.
Final Thoughts
You don’t have to feel better before starting to take action. And you don’t have to fix everything all at once. Depression often tricks us into believing that change is impossible, but change often begins with one small, intentional act.
You deserve tools that support rather than shame you. And while these strategies aren’t a replacement for professional help, they can offer a starting point.
If you're looking for support in applying these strategies, therapy can offer structure, accountability, and a space to feel seen.
You don’t have to wait until you feel ready. You can start from exactly where you are.